last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
