why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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