its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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