Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
