i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize