maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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