Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
