that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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