We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
