im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
