butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
