Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
