The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
