is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
