i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
