Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
