I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
