i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
so much tequila, so little girl.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
