Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
