That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
