i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
