I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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