we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
