Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
