just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
