By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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