I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Panties = found
Randomize
