guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
