She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
