I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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