my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I love you. Go after that dick
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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