Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
