I met the friendliest cop last night
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
