Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
