Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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