if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
