as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
