that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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