4 words: hood of his car
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
