I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
