There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
