Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
