Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
