he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Lo siento on account of my penis...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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