Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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