I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
