My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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