This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
he just fucked me for my cheese..
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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