have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize