Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize