I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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