My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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