so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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