Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
