Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
