I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
