Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
