butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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