I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
