I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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