Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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