so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
