it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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